The angrier the teenager is, the more hostages they have. A good scale is 1 to 15 hostages. If a teenager has a few hostages they are irritable and cranky for no reason. As the number of hostages increases, the teenager can go from irritable to visibly distraught to completely and catastrophically irrational. This may include screaming, swearing and irrational hand movements. It is important to identify the number of hostages so that the appropriate tactics can be employed to release the hostages. If the situation is not addressed properly, the hostages could perish.
No hostages and everything is status quo. Have great talks with the teenager. Tell them stories and teach life lessons.
At 1 to 5 hostages, the teenager is mildly irrational. Meaning, they have comprised judgement and impaired emotional stability but are easy to bring back to a normal state of mind. Your hostages have a good chance of survival.
At 6 to 11 hostages, the teenager is visibly distraught, ferocious anger, stomping feet, deer in headlights when you talk and possibly waiving arms around. The situation has escalated, but there is still some ability to reason with the teenager. However, things are becoming more intense and delicate and any sudden movement can comprise the hostages. At this stage, the parent negotiator must make the decision to employ tactics or allow the teenager space. When in the orange zone, it is difficult to bring the teenager back to a rational state of mind. The hostages have a 70% chance of survival, but are at risk for red zone if the necessary tactics are not employed
At 12 to 15 hostages they are completely and catastrophically irrational, they put up a wall of rage, there is typically screaming, possibly swearing, irrational hand movements, uncontrolled flaying arms and a feeling of their life is imploding. The teenager is shutting down and is experiencing cognitive dissonance. There is a loss of the ability to have any rational thought or judgment. No comprehension to any stimulus. There is usually full blown screaming and Defcon 5. Your skills as a parent negotiator need to be top level as the hostages do not have a high probability of survival.
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